Get Jenkee With It…

Hello, again.  I apologize for my absence, but I recently watched the 5th season of “The Wire” and became enormously anti-blog and other forms of digital news.  Alas, my inner compass guided me back toward the cozy port of self-indulgent commentary, just as Glenn Beck’s guides him toward the knife-edge ridge of public lunacy.  Despite our society’s paramount need for accountable journalists and commentators, we are where we are, and I can’t change that fact by not participating.  And so my grand journey ensues…

My next topic isn’t exactly fresh, and if you’ve reached the abyssal gulch of the internet in which this article resides, you’re probably already familiar with Ronald Jenkees.  However, he seems to me too often dismissed as a goofy internet clown, which does a great disservice to the philosophical and musical enigma which is Jenkees.  For those of you who don’t know, Jenkees is a mysterious man who makes uber-hooky arrangements on his synth, and endlessly entertaining Youtube videos.  He is often sporting thick hipster glasses and a Jason Mraz hat, except he wears them like they’ve rarely been worn before by musicians – as extensions of an unabashed awkwardness rather than as masks for mediocrity (you know what you’ve done, Mraz).  He starts off most videos leaning forward into the camera and greeting “youtubes” in an inexplicable drawl producible only by Jenkees.  I feel terrible using this phrase, because he insists he’s just a normal guy who works hard, but he’s an idiot savant if I’ve ever seen one.

The Not-Pointless List of Elite Songs Numbering 10

If you’re anything like me, you tend to use the internet every now and then for practically everything in your life. Whether it’s to purchase tickets to Coachella 2011, or to provide the soundtrack/videotrack to your relationship with your hand, the internet is great for many different things.  However, one major complaint I have is in regards to “Top ____” lists, or “Greatest ____” lists, etc.  When it comes to films, photography, and other works of visual art, these lists tend to serve their purpose as a great way to guide the viewer towards worthy new works of art, or to acknowledge the status of already known works of art.  Yet when it comes to top songs lists, I seem to always be left dissatisfied.  Everything from Rolling Stone Magazine’s $5 “100 Greatest Songs” list to Obscure Online Outlet’s 34 Best ____ list tends to focus solely on a band’s singles or most well known tracks.  I understand the logic behind this; the author of the article wants people to recognize a few of the songs on the list and hopefully that will validate his list and draw more satisfied viewers.  I’m a huge ass snob, though.  I feel like song lists shouldn’t be afraid to direct you to songs that only 1,000 people have heard at the same time as those 10,000,000 people have heard.  All this is a long preamble and rationalization for my wanting to create my own “Top 10 NOT-POINTLESS Songs” list (yes that means no Beatles, and yes the first few songs are metal, but don’t be discouraged, I mix it up a lot).  So here it is; like it or lump it.

10.MP3: Crack The Skye, Mastodon
Yes, I start this list off with Mastodon – big freaking surprise.  But, on an album with lyrical content dealing primarily with the drummer (and rock-God) Brann Dailor’s sister killing herself, this track brings the emotions of that experience to the listener in the most succinct, hauntingly beautiful package.  Plus, Neurosis’ Scott Kelly delivers the verse like a Satanic eulogist ripping his own heart out for the world to see.

Expository Malarkey + “Valley of Smoke” Review

I don’t like second introductions, so read my bio if you want to know who I am.  Let’s get started…

The term “Progressive Metal” immediately elicits skepticism in the majority of people, even though its modern meaning is barely understood by most of its detractors.  Depending on their experience with the genre, one probably imagines it as comprised of androgynous headbangers needlessly changing time signatures and belting falsetto vocals about Freud or distant planets.  While there are bands that still indulge those more esoteric elements of the genre’s past, recent years have seen a New Wave of Progressive Metal claw its way from the precious depths of the music underground to redefine these ambiguous criteria.  In fact, this evolution is essential to the genre, if you take the time to dissect its name.  Pro means “forward”, gress means “tread”, and metal means “like you don’t give a fuck.” As fellow PTC contributor James Johnson and I like to say, it takes the superbly technical (prog) and blasts it at your face with a cannon (metal).